How to Lie to Your Significant Other With Food

I've become food obsessed...what else is new. I have been noticing lately at work, I cam constantly checking out what everyone else is eating for lunch.
"What's that?"
"What cha got?"
"Oooo that looks good, what is it?"
"Mmmmm smells yummy"

I've become annoying and I need to stop. One last "looks tasty" though...

My Home Girl at work had what she was calling Jambalaya and it looked like something I'd be able to eat during the challenge. Turns out, it was! This was going to be the perfect meal to make for dinner tonight since I was ready to hit my husband over the head with a frying pan over his eating choices for the past 2 days. Now, before anyone jumps on me and says, "he can eat whatever he wants," Yes...you're right, however, if he knows what's good for him, he'll eat what I put in front of him. I was tired of The Hubs bringing home fast food while I am doing my challenge this week so I decided to trick him.

Last night I was getting out of my car to find The Hubs coming up the driveway with TWO bags from Jack 'N the Box. He 'claims' they screwed up his order but gave him both bags of food but I call bullshit. Even though I could care less about eating something from that place, it was because he was having salty food and I wasn't that I got really mad and rage cooked healthy food...that'll fix him.

This new dish has components we both like, chicken sausage, and then ingredients I like but he would rather see on my plate and not his. I will run you through my dinner:

First I chopped some bell peppers, onions, and garlic.

Look at that color! Looks like the sunset

Then, I browned some chicken sausage in a pan and set it on a paper towel to drain.

I had some quinoa cooking in a separate pan but I didn't take a picture of it...so sorry. I threw my beautiful veggies into a pan with some olive oil and got them all sizzling.

I die...is there anything more wonderful than veggies sauteing?

 

Once my veggies were soft, I combined the quinoa, sausage, veggies, a 15 oz. can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes, and some chili powder.

The Hubs was skeptical at first but once he eye-balled the sausage he decided it was decent...here is the final photo of what it looked like on my plate

I made some cauliflower too. You can never have too many veggies

Not much else happened today during my 4th day of the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. I didn't have to drink the liquid sawdust this morning, a.k.a Fiber Drink so that was a PLUS! 

Here is the original recipe for reference: Sausage and Quinoa Jambalaya

Thanks for reading!

The Angry, Fat Girl Inside of Me Just Wants a Margarita and a Piece of Bacon

I speak the truth my friends! Today was Day 3 of my Advocare 24 Day Challenge. I remember Day 3 the last time I did this plan. Day 3 brings with it the realization that cocktails are still 21 days away and your ass hasn't gotten any slimmer even though you feel like with all the hard work you've done for the past 2 days, you should be wearing a 6 (or insert your ideal size here) by now. Is bacon not considered a fruit? Damn, I'll have to add that to my list of the foods I am asking the FDA to consider putting at the top of the inverted food pyramid:

Bacon
Potatoes
Vodka
Bourbon
Pringles
Rasinettes with Popcorn

Goodness, it's no wonder I needed a change in eating habits...

Now, I have never been one to call myself "fat". I have learned that the word "fat" is degrading and I much prefer other words found in Webster's Dictionary such as:

curvaceous-

adjective, Informal.

1. (of a woman) having a well-shaped figure with voluptuous curves.

shapely-

adjective, shapelier, shapeliest.

1.having a pleasing shape, especially with reference to a woman's figure.

And my personal favorite:

Rubenesque-

1.Though coined in the middle 19th century, the adjective Rubenesque has flourished during the last decade or so as a polite way of saying plump, full, or round, especially in describing a woman. The word refers to the Baroque painter Peter Paul Rubens, many of whose works depict full-figured women

Today, however, was a day that I decided to throw my dictionary out the window and just go for the gold...fat...uggghhhh. Luckily for me, I shook it off for most of the day until dinner time when I had another reality check about no Chipotle for a while either, but I'll get back to that in a moment.

Last night i was cruising Pinterest looking at food and drinking lemon water out of a fancy glass with a straw when I came across this great recipe for Yummy Hummus. I had all of the ingredients in my kitchen AND it was Challenge friendly. Off to my favorite part of my house I went to whip some of this stuff up in the blender.

Now, please note: I tend to be about a 10 on the garlic spectrum, 1 being the thought of it makes you gag and 10 being Dracula might come over to check out your clothing and shoe situation (clearly I envision Dracula as Clinton Kelly/Rachel Zoe mix) but that's all, Dracula isn't staying for drinks because your garlicky essence might rub off. With that said, in this recipe for the hummus the original poster called for only one clove. I started with that in my Ninja and found it to be not nearly garlicky enough for my #10 ranking on the garlic-o-meter so I proceeded to add 4 more cloves and then a couple of dashes of Frank's Red Hot for good measure. It tasted yummy, but instead of more garlic cloves I decided to throw in some powdered garlic pzazz. My hummus finally tasted suitable to me sans salt (sad face) and I packed it into a little tupperware to have cucumbers and bell peppers dipped into it for lunch today. 

Sitting down to today's lunch, it resembled something of a cave woman feast:

-lettuce cups

-chicken thigh

-some leftover avocado

-cucumbers

-yellow bell pepper cut up into matchsticks

-hummus

The idea was to make little lettuce sandwiches with the lettuce cups but they kept falling apart so I shoveled this and that into my face, catching the glance here and there of my friends (one of them being by Advocare distributor) and making them laugh. I'm sure I looked ridiculous but I was trying real hard to enjoy these 'sandwiches' that basically made me look like a rabbit. When I opened the top of the hummus tupperware, it was if I was in the city of Gilroy hosting my very own garlic festival. I explained to my friends how EXCITED I was that I made my own hummus and my other friend gladly dipped one of my cucumbers in it to try.

I think the expression on her face translated into a 15.7 on the above garlic spectrum. "Wow, that has a lot of garlic in it. I hope you have some mints," my friend said. As I sauntered back to my desk, the not so slight garlic odor already starting to seep through my pores, I began to think about my next meal...naturally.

Some of you know this, others may not. I have been having a longstanding love affair for quite some time. It's difficult to admit sometimes but now it's out there in the universe and luckily, The Hubs has grown to recognize that he'll have to have an open relationship as well. 

Chipotle

...my love affair is with Chipotle

......I know, I'm pathetic. So of course, in the past, when I was lazy on a Wednesday evening I would drive to Chipotle on the way home from work and grab a sack of matching burritos for my Sweet Baboo (Hubs' other name that really annoys him when I can him that. I do it on purpose) and myself and we chow down. 

Well friends, not tonight. No, I didn't bring the Chipotle home, I abstained even though it would have been so easy. Instead, I broke out those damn lettuce cups again (I needed to redeem myself) and made my own Chipotle-esque meal.

It came out pretty good if you ask me-

The components were as follows:

5oz. of cooked, ground turkey I then seasoned with taco seasoning

Lettuce Cups

1/4 cup brown rice

1/4 cup black beans

Red Bell Pepper, cut into matchsticks

Scant bit of avocado

Squirt of lime juice

Couple of dashes of Cholula (please note, auto correct wants to make 'cholula' cholera. I don't know what kind of seasoning Blogspot is into with its tacos but it's freaking me out.)

So there you have it. This (insert definition for fabulous) chick managed not to ruin her challenge today and is going to be taking some much needed time away from her love, Chipotle.

Now off to make my lunch and snacks for tomorrow... :)

Advocare 24 Day Challenge, Day 2

Recently I have found myself in a certain state, right before the alarm goes off, of being half awake/ half still dreaming. Like the other morning I had a dream I was walking downtown with Channing Tatum and we were shooting the breeze about his relatively new role of being a Dad and my constant need for new shoes. Yes, those topics don't really relate to each other but whatever, it's my dream and not yours. Plus, any time Channing Tatum wants to spend time with me and not his beautiful wife is fine with me, we don't even have to talk, I could just look at him adoringly while he's showing me all of his new dance moves for Magic Mike 2...I can hear you laughing in the background- don't be judgin'. It is at that point that Mr. Tatum look at me and starts meowing in my face and I look at him puzzled, "why Mr. Tatum- I didn't know you speak cat." I then wake up to see not Channing Tatum starting at me but my cat, Paris who is probably just as cute but doesn't dance very well...it's now time to get up.

Now- most of you are probably thinking, I thought this blog post was about her Advocare challenge? You would be correct, however, with this blog, like most things in my life, I prefer to take the long way to telling you the story. I promise my short story about my Channing Tatum dream relates here. 

This morning's dream/awake state consisted of me dreaming about The Hubs and I on a boat with no bathroom. Why is this significant? Oh I don't know, probably because my bladder was politely trying to alarm me through my brain that IT NEEDED TO UNLOAD. This is what happens when you 60 ounces of water but don't do anything about it before bedtime, I was tired. I thought I was going to burst. Lesson learned tonight I will make sure not to drink so much. 

For those of you that have not left the blog and would like more bathroom stories...you're out of luck. I now will be sharing today's collection of recipes and no more stories about the potty...or Channing Tatum.

Breakfast consisted of a smoothie concoction I perfected from a Real Simple article I found. I decided not to use kale as I tend to feel like I am drinking grass. I substituted the kale with baby spinach, my green veggie of choice in smoothie. Here is the recipe:

2 Cups Baby Spinach (Or 2 big, heaping handfuls. It was way too early this morning to measure)

1/2 Cup of Almond Milk. Now- I used vanilla, totally forgetting about the scant bit of sugar it might have and there's no sugar to be had on the challenge, however, it's what I had an again, it was early...I went to the gym and worked it off. Just don't be like me...get your almond milk unsweetened

1 Squirt of Agave Nectar

1/2 Cup Frozen Mango

1 Ripe Banana

1/2 Cup Old Fashioned Oats. Some of you may be scratching your head at the idea of putting oatmeal in a smoothie but here is why I did it: I needed to ad a "carb" to this meal and oatmeal qualified. A friend of mine at work I told this recipe asked why didn't i just cook up some oatmeal and eat it on the side and I replied with, GREAT QUESTION!

Palm-full of Chia seeds. This is not a required ingredient but they were staring at me in their cute little container so I figured they should join the smoothie party.

Whiirrrrr it up in the blender and voila! I have the 2 photos here for you.

LOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS COLOR!!!!!

Some notes on this one. I probably should have either A. eaten the oatmeal on the side as my good friend suggested or B. processed it in the food processor first to make it a little finer. I happen to be weird though and like weird texture so I didn't mind it. Plus, I was so proud of myself it even tasted decent that I just enjoyed it on the drive to the Park and Ride.

Just in case you would like to have the original Real Simple smoothie recipe because my cockamamy one scares you (don't worry I understand) here it is for you: Real Simple 

Green Smoothie

See those white specks...that would be the oatmeal...just go with it

I actually got my butt to the gym today too! First time in 3 months. I wish I could tell you I made this awesome dinner and am going to take the blogging world by storm but sadly, I had the leftover soup again because I was too tired to cook anything, and I needed to shove something in my mouth quickly before I started eating the french fries The Hubs brought home from McDonald's...needless to say he is not doing the challenge with me.

On to Day 3 tomorrow...I can do it, I can do it. Now off to sleep and to try and talk to Channing Tatum about life's mysteries, like how does Jennifer Aniston look so good at her age, and who was the man/woman in the Shark costume during Katy Perry's Super Bowl halftime performance? 

Cheers!

Challenge Day 1

Well, today was the day. I started my Advocare 24 Day Challenge in the hopes of slimming down from the holidays and football. Yes, what better way to welcome in a Seahawks Super Bowl loss than by giving up alcohol, coffee, and carbs. I am not going to be bitter about it though, it is what it is.

So this morning, I awoke for my new challenge for step 1, the Fiber Drink. My good friend who I order my Advocare products from told me, "I heard the peaches and cream flavor is much better than citrus." Yes, nothing like taking a packet of sawdust and instead of having it be citrus flavored, it's now peaches and creme flavor. I should be looking on the bright side and thanking my lucky stars it wasn't Peaches and Herb....haha aren't I funny.

On to breakfast. Unlike a Master Cleanse or a juice cleanse or any other type of cleanse, you actually have to eat during this challenge. I whipped myself up a scramble filled with spinach, green onion, and yellow bell pepper accompanied by some steel cut oatmeal. My scramble was supposed to be an omelet but something happened in the flip sequence so it became a scramble- Julia Child would have told me I lacked the conviction to flip my omelet but I say, I was so freaking hungry I just wanted to  get the damn thing on my plate!

Good thing I decided to take the day off since I found myself running to the bathroom every 3 minutes. My 1 hour episode of Downton Abbey On Demand took me about 2 hours just from all of the getting up and going. I hope this counted as exercise and I hope we have enough TP for this cleanse. While trying to drink one gallon of water today has its advantages, healthy skin and less headaches, one of the disadvantages is you get to see more of your bathroom than you probably would like. Today I realized I need to scrub my shower door and the towel rack needs adjusting, cue "The More You Know" jingle here

Snack time! Now, I don't have a photo of the morning snack (mostly because I wanted to eat it) so you'll have to take my word for what I had, a small apple with some Justin's Almond Butter.

I was planning on going to the gym today and swim but felt they would not appreciate me constantly getting in and out of the pool in order to use the facilities, so instead I sat on my duff and looked at food on Pinterest...because you know, I already have to think about food constantly while on this program so why not think about it some more?

Lunch consisted of some chicken stir fry over brown rice. In the past I would have put a lot of yummy soy sauce over my rice but being in cleanse mode, no soy sauce. It takes some getting used to not salting my food but I have to keep thinking thin!

Please excuse my messy plate, I was mid bite and almost forgot to take a photo-again, so I quickly put my fork down and snapped another photo on my phone and then went back to stuffing my face. You would think eating every 3 hours would make you full and not ready to eat the next meal but no, you in fact are so ready to go for your next meal that you might chew off your own hand if you wait a minute longer. So not wanting to gnaw off my appendages for sustenance, I just dig right in and immediately make a mess.

Snack #2 consisted of 1/2 cup of raspberries and some more almond butter. I know I need to take it easy now on the almond butter since it's only Monday and I might get tired of it quickly. I'll figure that out later.

Sorry about the big shadow over my plate, my pictures of food taking abilities are seriously lacking. We have 23 more days of this challenge so I hope to figure it out by then.

17 more trips to the bathroom later and it was time to make dinner. I was going to take a crack at this kale and white bean soup I found online. Even though the recipe says "vegan" i made it not vegan by using chicken broth and putting in a cut up chicken sausage in there. Here is the recipe if you want to make it Tuscan White Bean and Kale Soup

Now, in addition to throwing in the chicken sausage, I also was a little heavy handed with the crushed red pepper flakes and needless to say, it made me sweat a little. All that alcohol from yesterday's football watching was coming out through my pores from soup eating, I wonder if this is what the recipe creator had in mind? Probably not.

So after all of my dish washing and meal planning for the week, I have come to the realization that this isn't going to be easy and it's going to take some hard work. Yes this post didn't have much humor in it as they usually do (I can only write so many bathroom jokes), but that's because food is something I have always struggled with and something that I don't like admitting to my friends, let alone people on the internet reading this.

I promise tomorrow we'll have more humor added and less pictures of my phone casting a shadow on the items.

Now off to drink more water while I watch The Bachelor.

My Vodka Is Made From Potatoes-Can I Consider It A Vegetable?

...Don't I wish
But seriously, though- WHY NOT? Wouldn't you know it I develop a taste for dirty vodka martinis 5 days before I plan to start another Advocare 24 Day Challenge...I am a true glutton for punishment. What baffles me though is how did I not try one of these before? It has everything in it that I love:

Vodka
Olives-mmmm salty and delicious, which I plan to be the title of memoir if I ever decide to write one. It has a nice ring to it.
Vermouth- more alcohol
Olive Juice- more salty, briny, divine flavor. I change what I said before about the memoir, I think the new title will be Briny, Salty, Delicious- A Story About One Woman's Journey Through Food, Alcohol, and Sweets.
I doubt this work of art would ever get published but if it does...you're welcome. Now back to this challenge I was telling you about.

You see, I did this same plan last year around April and blogged about it as well. So I will be at it again. Why, you ask? Why do another challenge, when the other one wasn't easy and it will take away my morning coffee (GASP! THE ELIXIR OF LIFE) and beloved vodka? Well...let me give you some insight, 2 weeks ago it went a little something like this:

True Story-
I am in the elevator going down to the 1st floor because it's quittin' time and wouldn't you know it stops at
Every
SINGLE
FLOOR!

Everyone decided to leave the office at the same time I guess. On the way down I looked at my watch and had that moment of panic because my bus was going to arrive in 5 minutes...CRAP. Not wanting to miss my bus, especially since The Hubs and I carpooled that day and I didn't want him to wait. By him "not wanting to wait" I mean I was going to be late for my very important date...with sweatpants.

So I am waiting at the light trying not to dash into traffic and jaywalk (it's a huge fine and this chick needs to save her pennies for a vacation and shoes) and as I waited there, I started doing a dance that looked like a combination of "I need to go to the bathroom from drinking too much Diet Coke" and twerking. I didn't have the rhythm down right though so mostly it just looked like I had to pee.

Running down the sidewalk dashing through people, I couldn't figure out if they were getting out of my way because clearly I had somewhere to be or because my jeans were rolling down because of the gigantic food baby I carry with me daily and the sight was so horrifying they needed to get away. I accomplished my goal of making my bus but damn, was I sweaty. I want to rip my clothes of on the bus and start fanning myself but I didn't want to get arrested for indecent exposure...and nobody wants to see that.

This got me thinking- A. I need to get my sh#& in gear earlier at work so I am avoiding the above mad dash to the bus and B. I need to get in shape and lose some pounds. I never make New Years Resolutions, I firmly believe that Jan 1st is scared for watching the Rose Bowl and eating more football food on that day, as well as waking up and having brandy whipped cream in my coffee left over from the New Year's Eve dinner and then follow it in the late morning/early afternoon with some more champagne.

So with my resolution to not make resolutions in January, I make February resolutions...more like "After The Super Bowl" resolutions, since we all know the Super Bowl is the very last Sunday until a new season of football starts where it is socially responsible to start drinking at 6 a.m. and not stop until 3 p.m. when the game starts...and then proceed to fall asleep or throw up, whichever comes first.

Since this chick likes to tailgate and drink and eat to the max on Sunday's and I have been doing so since late August, 22 Sundays of gluttony has now manifested into swollen feet from sodium and a hell of a waistline. Refusing to buy new pants, I am going to do something about it- my challenge. For 24 days I am going to not indulge in the following

No Sugar
No Coffee (blasphemy)
No Alcohol (i know, it's like I am cursing my mother or something...it's just terrible)
No beautiful marbled steaks
No Mushrooms
No Butter (Julia Child would tell me I am nuts. I know Julia, I know)
No Cheese (Lord Almighty, please help me for my love of brie cheese on a nice baguette knows no bounds)
No Bread
No Cheeseburgers (It doesn't actually say that in the directions but they are a love of mine that encompass the above items I cannot have so therefore, these are off the list too)
No BACON.....I want to die

Instead I will be substituting my coffee for a fiber drink and a no sugar Advocare sponsored drink mix. A beautifully marbled rib eye and Teriyaki will be replaced by ground turkey and hard boiled eggs. It'll be good for me though, I welcome the new routine with open arms and I am excited to get some of this excess baggage off. I know I say this now...come back and talk to me in 3 days after I have gone without coffee and see how I fee about the matter.

After thinking it through, I'm not supposed to eat potatoes on this new routine anyway so even IF vodka was considered a vegetable, it wouldn't count...oh well.

Cheers everyone! Here's to getting fit in 2015, and convincing the FDA that alcohol from potatoes should be counted as a vegetable on the food pyramid.

My vodka martini while watching The Bachelor last Monday 

Get Your Hot Glue Gun Away From My Jersey!

Ok- So this week is the big NFC Championship game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Green Bay Packers. I'm sorry to any of my readers who may be cheese heads (I can think of 2 people out there) but the Seahawks are going to wipe the floor with Aaron Rodgers. Good, now that I got that out of the way, it brings me to my next irk...

Like other radio stations in the area, our local sports radio, 950 KJR AM, has been doing a ticket giveaway for Sunday's game. You enter your name on their website, having to give your name to iHeartRadio so they can send you spam (what I won't do for a freebie) and then every hour, kinda on the hour they announce a name. Now, this name they announce doesn't mean you automatically win the tickets, no...it's a CHANCE to be ENTERED to win...that ticket drawing isn't until Friday at 5 p.m. So of course, like any fan I sign up, give my info, accept the spam, and anxiously wait for my name to be called every hour...so far my name hasn't been called and The Hubs said to not put money on it....haha, ye of little faith!
-But seriously though, is anyone out there having people over because Hubs and I probably aren't going to be at Century Link on Sunday.

I know, I know, you're wondering what my irk is and no, it's no email spam...although that is a pain in the ass. I know that not very many women listen to sports talk radio...do you want to know how I know? Well let me give you the random sample of commercials I have had the pleasure to listen to while I wait for someone to say I have won a chance to enter a drawing for Seahawks tickets that I most likely will not win:

-Commercials about dick hardener pills
-Commercials about pills you need to take to stop the frequent urination from taking the dick hardening pills
-Commercials about auto parts
-Bail Bondsmen
-"Kittens Cabaret, A Gentleman's Club," which apparently has free parking and accepts all major debit and credit cards...do you run the card through her slot or do you pay at the register? If any of you have been there let me know
-Steakhouses- This is actually one I care about
-A website that sells tickets to very game I am trying to WIN tickets for (I see what you're doing here, you're trying to convince me to give up and buy)
-Pubs
-More pills for male issues
-Places to buy engagement rings, "make sure you buy from a place you won't get ripped off." Really? I don't know who does your ad writing Mr. Jewelry man but I'm pretty sure Tiffany's or Cartier never had to come out with a commercial about having "fair prices."....Well, now that I have typed that now I understand why there may be the commercial about not getting ripped off so that one will receive a pass
AND FINALLY- The one about the man wanting a new TV for the big game coming up and his wife/girlfriend/ lover/whatever thinks it's a hassle and "doesn't know how to guarantee the best price" aka, showing her the light because TVs and Electronics are MAN STUFF.

I'm glad I could sum this up for all of you in case you were wondering what I listen to in the morning on the way to work, on the way home from work, and at work.

So yeah, not many women listen to sports radio...I will grant you that. So here comes my real irk (sorry it wasn't dick hardening pills, which is really funny to type...yes I am a 5 year old), how come when it comes to sports apparel for women, everything has to have a V-Neck, be super fitted in the waist and chest, and come in the color pink with SPARKLES all over. Don't get me wrong, I love sparkles, and pink, and a great garment that cinches in at the waist creating a perfect hourglass figure, but this said garment should not have to be on my sports apparel.

Now for anyone out there that is offended because they like this type of stuff, I do not have beef with you and I think you look great! (I'm talking about you, friend who wears her blinged Eagles jersey. You keep on keepin' on!)What I am saying is...I find that as a woman, my options are limited to the 3 categories listed above. Last time I checked, the Seahawks don't have pink as one of their colors and with the exception of Marshawn Lynch's teeth, I'm not expecting diamond bling to make an appearance. And while Russel Wilson looks like he is wearing tight fitting clothing anyway, I'm pretty sure it's because he's extremely built and not because he was considering how this top would accentuate his physique.

Besides-in my opinion, something I am going to be eating chicken wings in and drinking copious amounts of beer in, should have a little room in it for the massive food and beer baby. A pink and bedazzled food baby is not a good look my friends, DON'T COMMIT THIS FASHION CRIME!

Also, if I am jumping up and down rooting on the team in a v-neck tee...one of my tatas could pop right out and give me a black eye...
While some of you might think this is hilarious, I do not! Those puppies need to be controlled while watching football. Also I have never actually had this happen in any of the lower cut tops I own but I will have you know it's a fear I have...
-having a tit smack me in the eye
-it'd be painful
-and kind of funny
-but mostly painful
-reminds me of the commercials with Kate Upton these days where she is promoting that free game "Lord of War" or whatever it's called (sorry if you play that game and I didn't get the name right). Kate Upton is riding on that damn horse with her bubbies-a-boucnin' and I worry the poor girl is gonna hurt herself!

Please know, Kate Upton, that if you're reading this I am genuinely worried about your tit safety.

Sorry, where was I?

Anyway, now you know what I have been thinking about lately. Why does it have to be so one sided? I just thought all of you should know that this has been bugging me for some time. Maybe you care, maybe you don't, but now you know how I feel regarding team sports apparel for women, 950 KJR AM's commercials, and Kate Upton's boobs.

-Go Hawks
:)

Kitchen Dreams, Not Nightmares

Yes yes, I know! I haven't blogged in ages and there have been many requests. I didn't know you cared, whoever you are! This Hungry Girl has been busy, the Hubs and I moved into a house in the 'Burbs and since then I have been consumed with how to decorate my kitchen.

When buying a home some people dream of hardwood floors, vaulted ceilings, expansive rooms...well yeah I like that too but I am enchanted by counter space, kitchen storage, and high end appliances. Ahhhhh, the cool feeling of granite on the skin as you roll out pie dough! Oh wait, sorry you're still here and I was dreaming, I do apologize. I don't know where I got rolling out pie dough since I don't do that, maybe I was in someone else's dream-

-But in my kitchen 

-With my rolling pin rolling out pie dough

-Who uses a rolling pin without asking?That's super rude but it's ok, usually it's stuck in the drawer so it's good it gets to see a little action. Ok this is weird, I am talking about a rolling pin getting action, this conversation is getting away from me and maybe a tad innapropriate.

I'm thinking a backsplash would look awesome but what colors to pick? I wish I could enlist the help of Drew and Jonathan Scott from Property Brothers to come assist me. I would like to take a brief moment to thank HGTV for bringing hot Canadian twins to America in the form of a television show. Hot twins  who do home things...excuse me while I wipe the sweat off my brow. Ok where was I? Oh yes, kitchen...not hot twins, kitchen.

Luckily, Hubs and I got the kitchen we wanted (and by 'we' I mean 'I' because he can't even boil water). Instead of having a kitchen the size of a UHaul box I now have something I can make even more of a mess in! Good thing I live with my main dishwashing man. Instead of painting when we first moved in we got a new stove. It's not the super deluxe Viking gas range you see in all of those foodie magazines, but it is stainless steel, and large, and pretty, and gets hot (like the TWINS! Darn I said I would stay on topic), and pretty, and looks good, and it's pretty! Did I tell you it's pretty? Just wanted to make sure you know. 

I hope other people get more excited about their kitchen like I do. Of course it took finally getting into the right size kitchen before I felt this way. My college apartment had some countertop, and by some I mean none. I remember chopping my veggies on the floor and my ventilation for over the range was a window that went out over the roof with no screen. When you have a giant animal that likes to explore...bad things happen when you have a kitchen fire and have to crack something open, KITTY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON OUT THERE!?!? I hope my old landlord isn't reading this...oh well she can't charge me now. 

Well I am glad you could all come with me on my journey down kitchen memory lane and kitchen present. Sorry it got a little weird there for a second, it's something I am trying to work on in 2015, not being weird, but we all know that is impossible for me. Now to try and not have any fires in the new cooking space...not that I would ever do that....maybe I should go check and see where the fire extinguisher is.

Old stove

New stove! Much better right? If you disagree we cannot be friends. That's not true, I'll still be your friend but we'll just be in disagreement about this but it's nothing a glass of wine between friends can't solve :)