My Vodka Is Made From Potatoes-Can I Consider It A Vegetable?

...Don't I wish
But seriously, though- WHY NOT? Wouldn't you know it I develop a taste for dirty vodka martinis 5 days before I plan to start another Advocare 24 Day Challenge...I am a true glutton for punishment. What baffles me though is how did I not try one of these before? It has everything in it that I love:

Vodka
Olives-mmmm salty and delicious, which I plan to be the title of memoir if I ever decide to write one. It has a nice ring to it.
Vermouth- more alcohol
Olive Juice- more salty, briny, divine flavor. I change what I said before about the memoir, I think the new title will be Briny, Salty, Delicious- A Story About One Woman's Journey Through Food, Alcohol, and Sweets.
I doubt this work of art would ever get published but if it does...you're welcome. Now back to this challenge I was telling you about.

You see, I did this same plan last year around April and blogged about it as well. So I will be at it again. Why, you ask? Why do another challenge, when the other one wasn't easy and it will take away my morning coffee (GASP! THE ELIXIR OF LIFE) and beloved vodka? Well...let me give you some insight, 2 weeks ago it went a little something like this:

True Story-
I am in the elevator going down to the 1st floor because it's quittin' time and wouldn't you know it stops at
Every
SINGLE
FLOOR!

Everyone decided to leave the office at the same time I guess. On the way down I looked at my watch and had that moment of panic because my bus was going to arrive in 5 minutes...CRAP. Not wanting to miss my bus, especially since The Hubs and I carpooled that day and I didn't want him to wait. By him "not wanting to wait" I mean I was going to be late for my very important date...with sweatpants.

So I am waiting at the light trying not to dash into traffic and jaywalk (it's a huge fine and this chick needs to save her pennies for a vacation and shoes) and as I waited there, I started doing a dance that looked like a combination of "I need to go to the bathroom from drinking too much Diet Coke" and twerking. I didn't have the rhythm down right though so mostly it just looked like I had to pee.

Running down the sidewalk dashing through people, I couldn't figure out if they were getting out of my way because clearly I had somewhere to be or because my jeans were rolling down because of the gigantic food baby I carry with me daily and the sight was so horrifying they needed to get away. I accomplished my goal of making my bus but damn, was I sweaty. I want to rip my clothes of on the bus and start fanning myself but I didn't want to get arrested for indecent exposure...and nobody wants to see that.

This got me thinking- A. I need to get my sh#& in gear earlier at work so I am avoiding the above mad dash to the bus and B. I need to get in shape and lose some pounds. I never make New Years Resolutions, I firmly believe that Jan 1st is scared for watching the Rose Bowl and eating more football food on that day, as well as waking up and having brandy whipped cream in my coffee left over from the New Year's Eve dinner and then follow it in the late morning/early afternoon with some more champagne.

So with my resolution to not make resolutions in January, I make February resolutions...more like "After The Super Bowl" resolutions, since we all know the Super Bowl is the very last Sunday until a new season of football starts where it is socially responsible to start drinking at 6 a.m. and not stop until 3 p.m. when the game starts...and then proceed to fall asleep or throw up, whichever comes first.

Since this chick likes to tailgate and drink and eat to the max on Sunday's and I have been doing so since late August, 22 Sundays of gluttony has now manifested into swollen feet from sodium and a hell of a waistline. Refusing to buy new pants, I am going to do something about it- my challenge. For 24 days I am going to not indulge in the following

No Sugar
No Coffee (blasphemy)
No Alcohol (i know, it's like I am cursing my mother or something...it's just terrible)
No beautiful marbled steaks
No Mushrooms
No Butter (Julia Child would tell me I am nuts. I know Julia, I know)
No Cheese (Lord Almighty, please help me for my love of brie cheese on a nice baguette knows no bounds)
No Bread
No Cheeseburgers (It doesn't actually say that in the directions but they are a love of mine that encompass the above items I cannot have so therefore, these are off the list too)
No BACON.....I want to die

Instead I will be substituting my coffee for a fiber drink and a no sugar Advocare sponsored drink mix. A beautifully marbled rib eye and Teriyaki will be replaced by ground turkey and hard boiled eggs. It'll be good for me though, I welcome the new routine with open arms and I am excited to get some of this excess baggage off. I know I say this now...come back and talk to me in 3 days after I have gone without coffee and see how I fee about the matter.

After thinking it through, I'm not supposed to eat potatoes on this new routine anyway so even IF vodka was considered a vegetable, it wouldn't count...oh well.

Cheers everyone! Here's to getting fit in 2015, and convincing the FDA that alcohol from potatoes should be counted as a vegetable on the food pyramid.

My vodka martini while watching The Bachelor last Monday 

Get Your Hot Glue Gun Away From My Jersey!

Ok- So this week is the big NFC Championship game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Green Bay Packers. I'm sorry to any of my readers who may be cheese heads (I can think of 2 people out there) but the Seahawks are going to wipe the floor with Aaron Rodgers. Good, now that I got that out of the way, it brings me to my next irk...

Like other radio stations in the area, our local sports radio, 950 KJR AM, has been doing a ticket giveaway for Sunday's game. You enter your name on their website, having to give your name to iHeartRadio so they can send you spam (what I won't do for a freebie) and then every hour, kinda on the hour they announce a name. Now, this name they announce doesn't mean you automatically win the tickets, no...it's a CHANCE to be ENTERED to win...that ticket drawing isn't until Friday at 5 p.m. So of course, like any fan I sign up, give my info, accept the spam, and anxiously wait for my name to be called every hour...so far my name hasn't been called and The Hubs said to not put money on it....haha, ye of little faith!
-But seriously though, is anyone out there having people over because Hubs and I probably aren't going to be at Century Link on Sunday.

I know, I know, you're wondering what my irk is and no, it's no email spam...although that is a pain in the ass. I know that not very many women listen to sports talk radio...do you want to know how I know? Well let me give you the random sample of commercials I have had the pleasure to listen to while I wait for someone to say I have won a chance to enter a drawing for Seahawks tickets that I most likely will not win:

-Commercials about dick hardener pills
-Commercials about pills you need to take to stop the frequent urination from taking the dick hardening pills
-Commercials about auto parts
-Bail Bondsmen
-"Kittens Cabaret, A Gentleman's Club," which apparently has free parking and accepts all major debit and credit cards...do you run the card through her slot or do you pay at the register? If any of you have been there let me know
-Steakhouses- This is actually one I care about
-A website that sells tickets to very game I am trying to WIN tickets for (I see what you're doing here, you're trying to convince me to give up and buy)
-Pubs
-More pills for male issues
-Places to buy engagement rings, "make sure you buy from a place you won't get ripped off." Really? I don't know who does your ad writing Mr. Jewelry man but I'm pretty sure Tiffany's or Cartier never had to come out with a commercial about having "fair prices."....Well, now that I have typed that now I understand why there may be the commercial about not getting ripped off so that one will receive a pass
AND FINALLY- The one about the man wanting a new TV for the big game coming up and his wife/girlfriend/ lover/whatever thinks it's a hassle and "doesn't know how to guarantee the best price" aka, showing her the light because TVs and Electronics are MAN STUFF.

I'm glad I could sum this up for all of you in case you were wondering what I listen to in the morning on the way to work, on the way home from work, and at work.

So yeah, not many women listen to sports radio...I will grant you that. So here comes my real irk (sorry it wasn't dick hardening pills, which is really funny to type...yes I am a 5 year old), how come when it comes to sports apparel for women, everything has to have a V-Neck, be super fitted in the waist and chest, and come in the color pink with SPARKLES all over. Don't get me wrong, I love sparkles, and pink, and a great garment that cinches in at the waist creating a perfect hourglass figure, but this said garment should not have to be on my sports apparel.

Now for anyone out there that is offended because they like this type of stuff, I do not have beef with you and I think you look great! (I'm talking about you, friend who wears her blinged Eagles jersey. You keep on keepin' on!)What I am saying is...I find that as a woman, my options are limited to the 3 categories listed above. Last time I checked, the Seahawks don't have pink as one of their colors and with the exception of Marshawn Lynch's teeth, I'm not expecting diamond bling to make an appearance. And while Russel Wilson looks like he is wearing tight fitting clothing anyway, I'm pretty sure it's because he's extremely built and not because he was considering how this top would accentuate his physique.

Besides-in my opinion, something I am going to be eating chicken wings in and drinking copious amounts of beer in, should have a little room in it for the massive food and beer baby. A pink and bedazzled food baby is not a good look my friends, DON'T COMMIT THIS FASHION CRIME!

Also, if I am jumping up and down rooting on the team in a v-neck tee...one of my tatas could pop right out and give me a black eye...
While some of you might think this is hilarious, I do not! Those puppies need to be controlled while watching football. Also I have never actually had this happen in any of the lower cut tops I own but I will have you know it's a fear I have...
-having a tit smack me in the eye
-it'd be painful
-and kind of funny
-but mostly painful
-reminds me of the commercials with Kate Upton these days where she is promoting that free game "Lord of War" or whatever it's called (sorry if you play that game and I didn't get the name right). Kate Upton is riding on that damn horse with her bubbies-a-boucnin' and I worry the poor girl is gonna hurt herself!

Please know, Kate Upton, that if you're reading this I am genuinely worried about your tit safety.

Sorry, where was I?

Anyway, now you know what I have been thinking about lately. Why does it have to be so one sided? I just thought all of you should know that this has been bugging me for some time. Maybe you care, maybe you don't, but now you know how I feel regarding team sports apparel for women, 950 KJR AM's commercials, and Kate Upton's boobs.

-Go Hawks
:)

Kitchen Dreams, Not Nightmares

Yes yes, I know! I haven't blogged in ages and there have been many requests. I didn't know you cared, whoever you are! This Hungry Girl has been busy, the Hubs and I moved into a house in the 'Burbs and since then I have been consumed with how to decorate my kitchen.

When buying a home some people dream of hardwood floors, vaulted ceilings, expansive rooms...well yeah I like that too but I am enchanted by counter space, kitchen storage, and high end appliances. Ahhhhh, the cool feeling of granite on the skin as you roll out pie dough! Oh wait, sorry you're still here and I was dreaming, I do apologize. I don't know where I got rolling out pie dough since I don't do that, maybe I was in someone else's dream-

-But in my kitchen 

-With my rolling pin rolling out pie dough

-Who uses a rolling pin without asking?That's super rude but it's ok, usually it's stuck in the drawer so it's good it gets to see a little action. Ok this is weird, I am talking about a rolling pin getting action, this conversation is getting away from me and maybe a tad innapropriate.

I'm thinking a backsplash would look awesome but what colors to pick? I wish I could enlist the help of Drew and Jonathan Scott from Property Brothers to come assist me. I would like to take a brief moment to thank HGTV for bringing hot Canadian twins to America in the form of a television show. Hot twins  who do home things...excuse me while I wipe the sweat off my brow. Ok where was I? Oh yes, kitchen...not hot twins, kitchen.

Luckily, Hubs and I got the kitchen we wanted (and by 'we' I mean 'I' because he can't even boil water). Instead of having a kitchen the size of a UHaul box I now have something I can make even more of a mess in! Good thing I live with my main dishwashing man. Instead of painting when we first moved in we got a new stove. It's not the super deluxe Viking gas range you see in all of those foodie magazines, but it is stainless steel, and large, and pretty, and gets hot (like the TWINS! Darn I said I would stay on topic), and pretty, and looks good, and it's pretty! Did I tell you it's pretty? Just wanted to make sure you know. 

I hope other people get more excited about their kitchen like I do. Of course it took finally getting into the right size kitchen before I felt this way. My college apartment had some countertop, and by some I mean none. I remember chopping my veggies on the floor and my ventilation for over the range was a window that went out over the roof with no screen. When you have a giant animal that likes to explore...bad things happen when you have a kitchen fire and have to crack something open, KITTY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON OUT THERE!?!? I hope my old landlord isn't reading this...oh well she can't charge me now. 

Well I am glad you could all come with me on my journey down kitchen memory lane and kitchen present. Sorry it got a little weird there for a second, it's something I am trying to work on in 2015, not being weird, but we all know that is impossible for me. Now to try and not have any fires in the new cooking space...not that I would ever do that....maybe I should go check and see where the fire extinguisher is.

Old stove

New stove! Much better right? If you disagree we cannot be friends. That's not true, I'll still be your friend but we'll just be in disagreement about this but it's nothing a glass of wine between friends can't solve :)

Sample Size Schmample Size

Yes, I know what you're going to say, "how come you haven't written in a while?" To answer your question, I have been busy. This hungry girl decided it was time to become an official adult with The Hubs....and bought a house. We sign the appears tomorrow but in the meantime, we went on vacation to Vegas (the eating and drinking Mecca!) and then I got a new job. Still in the same line of work but now I get to do ecommerce, wow that sounds fancy. In fact when I tell people what I do they immediately think it's something out of Sex and the City when Carrie is walking through the sample closet at Vogue, mmmm not so much. Sample closet, yes...Manolo Blahnik marry-janes, no. 

Speaking of "sample" and "sample size" who the heck decided that a size 2 is a "sample" of the population. For me a size 2 is a sample of my left ass cheek. So who's sample are they talking about? Definitely not mine. Especially again when sample size for shoes is 6,7 or 10! That poor Amazonian woman, she's gotta get her skinny britches into those tight fitting pants and she still has gun boats for feet. If she looks anything like Gisselle Bundchen then I don't feel sorry of her, especially since she's married to Tom Brady. It probably is Gisselle...it's Gisselle....yes they model everything after her because why wouldn't you? Ok, I'll stop.

Do you see what I mean here though? Not every girl out there has a body like her! Yet the sample of clothing that fits her is supposed to be the norm. It always frustrates me when I watch Project Runway and they have the Real Woman Challenege and there's always that one jerk designer who complains about the clothes not fitting the woman he's designing for because she's "not the typical size." I would say that most women like that poor lady crying on TV because you basically just called her fat are more of a typical size than anyone else. It's ok though, Heidi Klum comes to the rescue and tells that designer how horrid they're being and saves the day....she's skinny too though, arrrggghhh I can't win!

I think at the end of the day, you can't go off of what you see on the tag (I'm telling you what I tell myself everyday when I put my clothes on- I might be skeptical of it too but if I put it out there, I'm more apt to follow my own logic). Instead you have to wear what fits best and looks the best on. You're not defined by the number on your clothing tag- it's the person on the inside that counts.

Ok enough of the mushiness for one evening, all of this packing has made me hyped up. Now to pack those shoes I bought at the sample sale! See, I guess I shouldn't complain. The sample clothing may not fit but the shoes do. Now for some Project Runway. 

How Do I Overcome A Pinterest Fail?

What did people do before Pinterest? If you're like me you had an "inspiration board" that you put clippings, website print-outs, and whatever else you wanted on there to inspire you on what you wanted to accomplish in life.  I first learned about the inspiration board from an episode of Oprah. The show was about achieving outcomes you wanted and thinking forward. I remember this lady on the show saying she made an inspiration board about what she wanted in the new home she just saved up and purchased. I remember her saying she put a picture of a Viking range on her board that she ultimately saved up and purchased later. All I wanted when I was watching that show was to successfully graduate college and get a good job- perhaps I shouldn't have been skipping my sociology class that day to watch Oprah but oh well...I had to get my inspiration from somewhere.  It's funny to think about now because I am constantly on Pinterest looking at everything known to man, recipes, nail art, makeup techniques, and my most favorite, hairstyles!

I was never one to do up my hair in high school or really put an effort into styling it in any way.  It was before the times of Moroccan Oil and Chi straighteners that worked well to tame frizzy manes. I was always so excited to go to school the Monday after I had gotten my haircut since the hairstylist would blow it out and straighten it making my hair look like someone else's. I'd get compliments about it, how'd you get it to look so good? Is that a chemical process? Are you new here in school?- yes that one actually happened too.  I remember my friends chipping in one Christmas to buy my one of the first Con air straighteners that had the tooth-ed comb and you had to put water in it to steam your hair.  I was so excited to get it home and use it only to ultimately have it get stuck in my hair....I think my Mom still remembers the shrieks and crying that ultimately followed the 2 hour ordeal to get the damn thing out of my hair. So I think in being scared for the time being about using any type of hair styling tool, I went back to doing the same thing all day everyday...putting it up in a pony-tail and wearing it like that.

Now, with a website like Pinterest, all you need to do is type in "easy hairstyle" and you are given a multitude of options for what you want to do, videos, in depth tutorials, anything! So it should be easy right? We've come a long way from straighteners getting stuck in your hair and using socks at night to curl it.  WRONG! Welcome to what is known as "The Pinterest Fail" something you see on Pinterest and try to recreate it and it comes out wrong-really wrong.  Please use this website as a reference http://pinterestfail.com/

So in this month's journey to get better looking skin and look good all around, I picked one of my favorite do's on my Hair Loves board and thought I'd give it a go this morning since it said, "Easy 10 Minute Bouffant." Yeah right! It was not easy and it did not take 10 minutes, it took 30, and made me late for work this morning. I officially looked like I had a bird's nest on my head and chose to walk out of the house looking like that. I could have easy taken it down and decided to do what I always do which is a half up/half down look with a hair tie but I thought, I went for it on this one and I'm going to embrace it-frizzy birds nest and all.  Hopefully I will be able to one day achieve this style, but for now I am going to overcome my fail by laughing it off and doing what anyone else would do- blog about it and potentially put my new "do" idea on Pinterest called, "the difficult 30 minute mess bird nest."

No-I didn't take a picture, even though I know you wish I had :)

Thanks For Noticing- No, My Eyelids Did Not Lose Weight

OMG! I have not made a blog posting in such a long time! No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth or get eaten by a giant bag of Cheetos...I was sitting on the couch eating the Cheetos while watching Bravo Real Housewives shows, wasting away. I finally have gotten back on track and this Hungry Girl is going to press on and get into that sparkly Trina Turk skirt dammit! It may say size 8 on the tag but I am going to conquer all the sizes in front of it and get back into it and the rest of the stuff in my fabulous closet.

So I was sitting in my weekly Weight Watchers meeting and we were asked to offer up what "change you made this week" or "did you try something new?" Usually I like to keep my opinions to myself. Talking in the meeting reminds me of being the kid in school who wouldn't shut up and had a comment for whatever the teacher said. That wasn't me you see, I wanted to get the heck out of there and onto my next class, go to the cafeteria, or get into the Tinkerbell Tank (may she rest in peace for she was sold for parts) to drive off to my minimum wage job being the Hostest With the Most-est seating patrons at the diner on my street. It wasn't glamorous since most nights I came home smelling like french fries, but it gave me spending cash to fuel my shoe and purse addiction. Ok back to the meeting because I know that's what I was originally trying to talk about but got onto a tangent that ultimately led me to talk about shoes-typical. The questions were, "change? something new?" and I thought to myself, well, yes in fact! I did make a change this week and I think it did change my outlook on life.  In my journey to get skinny and be able to look like Jennifer Lawrence, I have been trying all sorts of things to lose some pounds. Right now my Pretty Blonde Friend and I are going to the LA Fitness by work about 4 days a week, sweating on the elliptical machine but trying to look good at the same time, wile not falling over- I have a tendency to do that you know. All of this sweating has produced little in the actual moving of the number on the scale, however, I have been tracking my measurements and I'm losing inches.

Since I haven't achieved my smaller pant size yet, I decided it was time to make another change to help me with my perspective on this being healthy thing. The clothes aren't fitting the way I want them to yet but I know there is something I can be doing to make myself feel better. I came to the conclusion that taking better care of my skin and putting an effort into my beauty routine could help with this. One thing you must know about me is I have been fortunate to be someone who has never really had breakouts or had to wash their face. Now, in getting older I was noticing that stuff wasn't looking correct in the beauty department and I needed to do something about it. Lucky for me again, I work at the Fashion Mecca where you can also buy a multitude of creams, washes, blushes, brushes, lip gloss, concealer, and eye liner...just to name a few products. Here is how my conversation went with the gal at the beauty counter:
Beauty Expert: What did you do this morning to get your skin ready for the day?
Me: I used a makeup remover wipe to get rid of yesterday's mascara.
Beauty Expert: Ok and?
Me: That's all, gotta get the old and chipped mascara off first ya know...can't just keep adding on the layer.
Beauty Expert: Yes I know. So what else are you doing? What skin type do you have?
Me: Pale Skin?
Beauty Expert: Oh Boy....
This conversation lasted with a couple of more questions and a big face palm by my Pretty Blonde Friend but we made it through and finally figured out what 10 products I needed to have the face of an Angel.

That night I was so excited to do my skin routine. With all of the samples I got hooked up with, I forgot some steps and actually used a facial cleanser as a serum- no wonder it felt sticky.  The next morning I looked in the mirror before it was time to wash again and I couldn't help notice the immediate change.  I washed my face, applied some war paint for the day, and went out the door ready to show everyone the Hungry Girl with the new and improved skin that felt smooth like a baby's ass.  What ultimately happened that first day was people looking at me different. What did she change? Is her hair different? Is that Anne Hathaway? Yeah right I wish. I was talking to someone and the comment that came out of their mouth I couldn't have made up if I had tried, "You look great! Your eyes look thinner."  Thinner huh...well alright. It got me thinking that maybe all I needed for my outlook on life was to try something new sooner. This new change of taking better care of myself made me want to work harder at the gym and eat healthier.  It's amazing what a boost of confidence you get from a compliment, even if the compliment is stemming from the fact they used to think your eyes were fat. A compliment is a compliment.

So last Tuesday in Weight Watchers I had shared about my new skin care routine and how it had helped me to see that I need to focus on the overall package. My little change I made has shown me that weight isn't everything and beauty isn't defined by how large or thin you are-it's by the smile on your face and your outlook on the world, and the friends you have like Pretty Blonde Friend and my Friend who looks like Nicole Richie (she's kind of a big deal). Enough of the philosophical mushy stuff...pass the popcorn...I mean, carrots!

 Me and my new complexion

I should start my own makeup business...I don't think I have enough here

Does Free Taste or Fit Better?

Oh my heavens I have not blogged in 3 months! To sum up what's happen in the past months:

1. Advocare challenge was awesome- I lost some pounds but unfortunately work took over and my skinny self became unskinny again. I need to work on that thing called self control.

2. This stylish chick had to drastically curb her spending in an effort to buy a new car. My car that I had been driving since high school finally bit the dust and it was time to buy a new one. Nothing like the threat of having to take the loser cruiser to work everyday to help you save for a new vehicle. 

A friend of mine told me today they thought my blog was funny and said they were thinking about doing a food blog. Oh yeah...blog...that thing you started and just like most of the other hobbies you begin, you hit hard at first and then the enthusiasm goes up and vanishes like a fart in the wind.  Another person actually left a comment just 3 days ago and I dawned on me that yes, in fact, people are still looking at this thing (thank you Pinterest) and I should keep writing.

As you may have read before, The Hubs and I frequent Chipotle at least twice a week.  Somehow Chipotle thought it would be a good idea to put a contest on for free burritos. Little did they know that The Hubs + Free Burrito = MUST DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO ACCOMPLISH AT ALL COSTS.

So as I was forcing myself to eat my free Burrito tonight followed by a Birthday Cake Oreo (who in God's name created those? They need to be high-fived/ punched in the face) I kept saying to myself, "mmmmm, free burrito."  Now- did the burrito taste better because it was free? Probably not but I think in my recent penny pinching days in an effort to have a car with a working air conditioner and All Wheel Drive, I have trained my brain to automatically think the better deal is...well...better.  

The burrito doesn't taste any different though. If anything, by this time it should not taste like anything since I have it all the time but for some reason I couldn't help but force myself to eat it and enjoy it.  I think most stylish deal hunters out there can relate that when something is relatively a good price, you think, "OMG! A must have and it's only "x amount" of money!"  However, say that sweater you're holding up is half your rent payment for that month, probably not so cute....until is goes on sale 60% off, then it's perfect!

My friend with the initials KT put in perfect terms for me the other day when I told her I really wanted to buy this TOPSHOP dress that was about $100 the other day, "Seriously, calculate how many burritos it would cost you to buy that dress and then tell me if its worth it." A. She knows me too well and, B. she knows me too well. I may not have the best math skills but I have an excellent knowledge of food costs versus fashion costs.

Thinking about it though, if that same dress was to be $19.90 tomorrow, I'd probably snatch it up.  Why is that? If it didn't think it was cute enough at $100 why is it all of a sudden amazing at $19? Is the power if the better deal always the deciding factor? I think for me the answer will always be yes!

For reference, I will post a picture of me and the new ride. You can see where all my cash is going these days instead of fashion.